Women & Modern Marriage
Date: March 2026 | Topic: Social Issues
Đề bài
In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore it is unnecessary for women to get married. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Bài làm học viên
In recent years, the number of women who choose to stay single is increasing1 significantly. While financial independence allows women to live more freely, I disagree that marriage is becoming unnecessary because it still holds great sentimental and social value.
On the one hand, it is true that modern women are finance strong2. In the past, women depended on their husbands for financial support, but today, they are equal at the workplace. Earning on their own income3 allows them to chase their passions and devote to the society without needing a partner. This freedom of choice4 is a positive step for gender equality.
On the other hand, I believe that marriage remains essential for several reasons. Firstly, having family bring5 joy and happiness that money cannot buy. A stable family life provides spiritual values and emotional support, making life more significant. Secondly, marriage helps to maintain fertility rates and prevent the aging populations6, which is a major concern for many nations. Finally, when both parents have high salaries, they can improve the family living standard7 more effectively, providing a better environment for their children.
In conclusion, although being financially independent give8 women more choices, it does not mean that marriage is outdated. Hôn nhân still plays a vital role in building a healthy society9 and providing personal fulfillment.
Chi tiết lỗi & Đề xuất
S-V AGREEMENT
“number … is increasing”
Cấu trúc “The number of” đi với số ít là đúng, nhưng nên dùng thì hoàn thành (has increased) để chỉ một xu hướng kéo dài đến hiện tại.
WORD FORM
“finance strong” → “financially independent”
Dùng trạng từ bổ nghĩa cho tính từ. “Financially strong/independent” là cụm từ học thuật hơn.
“earn on their own income” → “earn their own income”
Động từ “earn” là ngoại động từ, đi thẳng với tân ngữ, không dùng giới từ “on”.
LEXICAL CHOICE
“freedom of choice” → “autonomy”
Dùng “autonomy” (sự tự chủ) sẽ nâng band điểm Lexical Resource lên cao hơn.
S-V AGREEMENT
“having family bring” → “having a family brings”
Danh động từ làm chủ ngữ tính là số ít. Cần mạo từ “a” trước “family”.
NOUN NUMBER
“aging populations” → “an aging population”
Khi nói về hiện tượng dân số già hóa nói chung, thường dùng số ít.
GRAMMAR
“family living standard” → “family’s living standards”
Cần sở hữu cách (‘s) và dùng số nhiều cho “standards”.
S-V AGREEMENT
“independent give” → “independence gives”
“Independent” là tính từ, cần chuyển thành danh từ “independence” làm chủ ngữ số ít.
LEXICAL UPGRADE
“healthy society” → “social cohesion”
Dùng “social cohesion” (sự gắn kết xã hội) để bài viết mang tính học thuật cao hơn.
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